As the title states I very recently got another tattoo. This one located on my upper left thigh reads, “NO VACANCY” in a rectangular box much the same a sign a hotel might have. (P.s the lettering inspo is exactly from a picture I took of a hotel) For me, no vacancy doesn’t mean I don’t have any open rooms. It is also a song title.
When people ask I normally chuckle because explaining that the song I got tattoo’d on me is by a group of artists called “Rainbow Kitten Surprise” sounds a little silly. (Shoutout to that group because they make some seriously good music and If you decide to listen to it, I hope you enjoy it). Thankfully it is hidden mostly so not many questions are asked.
For a while I resonated with the song really heavily and now I just think it’s a reminder, something to make sure that I don’t lose myself and lose what’s important to me. The song sort of explains how one person didn’t love the other and for me it was necessarily never about the fact that he didn’t love her. It was about the perception of that, she felt like he didn’t love her so he wrote this song to comfort her in a way. I believe he did love her he was just never able to express or explain it or I’m hyper analyzing this and it literally just means that he never loved her but that’s not why I put it on my skin.
If you’re ever going on a self healing journey it seems like there’s a lot of figuring yourself out and asking questions about how you’re feeling and why are you feeling that way. So naturally, I tried to figure out how this situation could happen. How could you make it so bad with someone that they’re calling to see if you love them? It just feels sad, to be on the side of unreciprocated love, trying to figure out what’s wrong or what missing with you that makes you unlovable? The other side of this song might make you wonder how could he be in that position? How can he have gotten her to fall in love when he was never in love himself. Well here are my thoughts about preventing it. You number one: don’t date someone quickly, know them for a while before getting there, get to know them and don’t rush it. I think a lot of mistakes can be avoided when slowing down, when you rush a relationship you don’t learn everything you should. Number two: don’t lower your standards. That one is self explanatory. There are more reasons that those situations happen but I think these are the most relavent to me. I figure between those two lessons now inked on my skin I might just might be able to never feel like that again. To feel unreciprocated love or to feel like I can’t explain why i’m not in love.
So yeah, that is what no vacancy means to me. No vacancy to remind myself who I was and who I want to be.
Lots of love, June.
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